17th December 2011,
Fear and anger, these two things never leave me these days. I always fear something wrong is going on as time is passing by. And me, what am I doing?? I have done nothing to stop it. Is it my inability or is it just impossible to get rid of this thing?
Life is all beautiful and colorful when you’ve got everything that one could desire of. Still our heart always wants more. It’s not only heart but my whole body has been maligned by one single thought, fear. Fear of losing my treasure. My hands are trembling and eyes all teary as I write these lines. And my ears, they are all full with some words. Words that I long feared would have to listen to one of these days. I have no remorse/ guilt or any of negative feelings for what’s been going on, it’s just my inability to change things around, make a happier world that I’ve dreamt of. I have no doubt every of my dreams will be real in time to come, but this moment it’s hard to pass.
I get up early each morning hoping I’d have conquered my fear. Hours pass by, things happen around and I do lots of things. And as I return home, the ghost follows me back. The dark lane just hunts me. Even people passing by make me shudder.
But it’s not same always. It doesn’t take much time to change things. You just have to open your eyes to see how beautiful everything is. You got to be determined to get what u love most. Get to the root and you’ll get it, I’ll get it.